Pretty Ricky is made out of wood!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? This is full of clichés, full of macho shit... Actually, just full of SHIT.

Women that aren't chavs and can see that sovereign rings are just tack will be offended and will clearly think that this wanker is, well, a wanker. Men, on the other hand, will realise things could be worse and that you could be cursed to live the blinkered and ridiculous life of Dick Rikk, or whatver the hell his name is.

The closest I can come to a compliment is that, if you squint real bad and block your brain up with chip fat, it could be construed as a huge joke and follow the lines of Har Mar Superstar. But we all know that's impossible. It's shit. Without the hot.