3

Unbelievably awful.

There's been some sort of mistake.

The front cover of the CD was a warning a moody looking young man with hair so messed up that it had to be stylised just so and wearing a thick jumper and just enough designer stubble the thought was, nope, this isn't going to be indie-rock or industrial two-step ragga. And the initial thoughts were right, what this CD turns out to be is from an artist who would likely fail to make it through the initial trials on the X-Factor but would please a few senile grannies or hormonally driven young girls on the show.

In a blurb about him on-line, the following information should suggest where Marc Downer is at: "He's worked with the likes of McFly, Busted, the Backstreet Boys' producers and is a childhood friend of Joss Stone."

It's hard to begin criticising that sentence and for brevity's sake, let's leave the music side alone but Joss Stone? Can you think of a more inspid and less likeable artist around at the moment (and yes, Natasha Bedingfield is a consideration but Joss Stone is far worse than her) and yet, Marc Downer believes this will act as some sort of badge of honour for him. Hmmm, I'd certainly be on a downer if that was the calibre of my friends.

Therefore you can imagine my surprise when 'Sail With Me', turned out to be one of the best tracks I've heard all year, with its meaty guitars, techno-like drums and vocals which range from cracked fragility to stadium-holding ferocity.

Haha, no, that's a complete lie, the song is a pile of Westlife pop rubbish and I'm a bit disgusted with myself that it was given three listens to see if it would improve. It hasn't and that's now ten minutes of life that are gone for good.

It's schmaltzy, you can picture Downer sitting on a stool crooning away as a few senile old biddies wave their lighters in the air. Sadly, this scene will be getting played out in his local pub as if there is any justice, Marc Downer should not be allowed to play in any larger sized venues, this is terrible. It's a song that Steps would turn down for being too light and let's just hope that Marc Downer slips away from the music world very quickly but has a pleasant and happy life as far away from a microphone as possible.

You can tell he'd do a great karaoke version of 'Sailing' though, that'd be worth hearing. Once.