Raise Your Hands (or thumbs down for) The Greatest Hits

Electronic and dance music trio X-Press2 rose to fame in the underground scene through clubs in Ibiza. I would say ‘Raise Your Hands The Greatest Hits’ of X-Press2, but this record would more than likely cause thumbs down as it is one of the most disastrous, non-inventive and annoying records I have ever had to put myself through listening to. From the minute it began I gained a painful headache and a strong reaction to throw this record at the nearest fire, shredder or damageable device closest to hand.

How this could be considered music, dance music to say the least is beyond me. I had no sensation to dance and pretty sure I would feel the same way after a few drinks. From the opener ‘Lazy’, which seems in fact that, there is nothing here I haven’t heard a million and one times over. One of the most annoying factors that drill into your skull is the repetition that occurs for minute after minute after minute (9 minutes on ‘Rock 2 House’), with a mass of tapping, beeping, milk bottles chimes, hiccupped bumps, claps, screeches and pounding stones. Whether the trio have tried to use an urban feel for ‘Fire’, twinkles for ‘Witchi Taito’, the electric movie style of ‘AC/DC’ or the lost Latin rhythm of ‘Smoke Machine’ to try and make the tracks better is unsure, but there is nothing that can be done to improve this mayhem.

The lack of vocals can be understood for a dance record, as it’s the music that make a listener sway, because of this the vocals on ‘Kill 100’ would be much more appreciated on a superior album by a more creative band. When I reached ‘Give It’ I through I had finally come across one track that was different from all the others, one I would enjoy listening to. The acoustic piano and guitar admittedly are good and break the electro beat that consumes the remainder of the album. Unfortunately, the vocals are dry, uninteresting and a bunch of old blokes trying to be something they can’t be when surrounding by a lazy choir is not going to squeeze any smiles out of me.

This album began to give me a headache by the time I reached the end of track one, so you can probably imagine how I felt after eleven tracks of the same ghastly, dreadful, monotonous and painful “music” these guys claim to create. I recon there is a mass grave of these horrid tracks hidden away somewhere.