A strikingly nasty, overly distorted, obscure debut album
Although it's plain to see that Archive Of Everything value originality as probably the most important feature of their music, it's also visible that they favour it over substance. Too much creativity and too little practicality combine to make what is their, pretty poor, debut album.
'Hello Children' is an overly distorted obscure blend of weirdness, wilderness and gloom; not by any means mind-blowing or exceptional. The only highlights of which are standout tracks 'I Value My Sanity' and 'Here Lies'.
The album opens with title track 'Hello Children', a tedious clash of electro sounds, heavy breathing, talked lyrics, syncopated tambourine and dodgy drumbeats; although, I have to say, very danceable. Though, if you don't like dance, it's not going to do much for you.
This is followed up by two contrasting tracks, 'I value My Sanity' and 'Here Lies'. The only point of the entire album where one really appreciates this bands innovation or diversity.
The rest, sad to say, is very forgettable, puny and lackadaisical. 'Celebrity Meltdown Bash' is claptrap; 'Archive Of Everything' is just a robust ironic metaphor for how much the actual band stinks and 'Mouthful Of Words' is a mouthful of utter musical garbage. 'Amber Dawn' needs a lot to be desired; 'Falling Over Yourselves' is epic rubbish in the making and 'Weak Sin' is downright pitiable.
This debut is nothing short of disappointing. Painful in parts and categorically wrong in others, this is one album you don't want to have the misfortune of hearing.