7

Crystal Castles • Crystal Castles

“Crystal Castles”, by the Canadian collective “Crystal Castles” is the real reason the gods • in their infinite wisdom • invented the second meaning of the word “interesting”. By that I mean that they scare the hell out of me. Half of their noises remind me of the songs which form that glorious respite which follows a series of painfully danceable anthems on the dance floor. The other half suggests a bad head-case whilst listening to the worst of Madonna’s most recent album tracks.

They choose the word “Different”, to describe themselves, as if unaware of the word’s over-use by self-obsessed “trendy” freaks everywhere. iTunes knows better. “Electronica” it condemns them. And electronica they are. Whilst they have by all accounts failed to create the new genre that was their initial aim, they have nonetheless encapsulated all the wholesome goodness of electro that they can squeeze out. I’m sure the much-loved Man Parrish is heavily borrowed from on “Magic Spells”, and we can hear elements of other artists throughout the album.

The use of a band’s name as the title of their debut album is a sure sign of resignedly acceptance of a commercial norm being accepted by an artist who would prefer to ape something a little more rebellious. And Crystal Castles are no exception; with one title sat right above the other as if it were some kitsch attempt at a pattern with only on repetition.
For all their inability to project any character, their music is pretty good • if at times painfully unconcerned with their listeners’ sense of good taste. It is relentless in a good way and destructive in just the right places. As an ugly, powerful reality; the artists will not be accorded any lifetime achievement awards for their early careers in fifty years’ time, but skinny kids in big trainers will dance to their music with passion; which is all any musician can ever hope for.

One thing is for certain; this is not simply an album. With 16 tracks of varying lengths, this is an endurance contest • an experience which will leave you utterly drained • and I’d advise you to sample them by syringe rather than drip-feed. Since there is little deviation from the mission statement each track is just as good as another for satisfying your electronica needs • mine were never terribly pressing in the first place.