Surely everyone hates Coldplay?
I'm guessing I got sent 'I Really Hate Coldplay' because most of my reviews are negative and bitchy tirades about the crap and pointless effluent currently leaking out of the urinary tract of the contemporary music scene.
Perhaps the editors thought that this single would be right up my alley because they know I hate Coldplay, Bright Eyes, The Feeling, Keane, Maximo Park, The Arcade Fire etc, etc, etc.
However, what they (and your good selves) probably don't know is that I also hate U2, The Beatles and The Beach Boys. Stop glaring at me like that. Let's face facts: 'Good Vibrations' is neither good nor particularly vibratory; 'Love Me Do' is a mangle of such twee and insipid banality I'm astounded that The Teletubbies haven't released a cover version yet, and every track on 'The Joshua Tree' album sounds like Led Zeppelin played backwards on a Fisher Price turntable. Deep down you know I'm right, so scrape your tongue off the floor, smoke another gasper and relax.
Lancashire-based Death In Public obviously agree that Coldplay are crap, because they've gone to the effort of putting pen to paper and plectrum to string to write a song about it - and while it's not a stone-cold stunner of a single, at least it sounds nothing like the titanic heap of meaningless pap regularly rammed down our throats by their nemesis.
'I Really Hate Coldplay' is a fuzzy, thick, ethereal track with hyperactive top-range vocals and a palpable air of eeriness that makes it sound a little like something Muse would record if they stopped prancing around pretending they were Queen.
This is Death In Public's second single (don't ask me what the first one was, I'm far too lazy to google it) and although the band has only been together for nine months and the older members are a mere eighteen years old, it's got a tons of balls, a fizzing energy and (don't get too carried away here guys) showcases a superior standard of musicianship.
I'm right and they're right: Coldplay are a waste of space. Why can't the rest of world see that?