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Nizlopi - Make it Happen

Dermot O’Leary is a man with a lot to answer for. There is just something about the bloke that is fundamentally repugnant. This is in so small part due to the fact that his smug, annoying Essex boy features and mannerisms have been almost impossible to avoid over the past few years due to his synonymy with some of the most popular, yet fundamentally loathsome programmes on T.V (Big Brother, the spin offs from Big Brother and X Factor). In the wake of such ‘successes’ it is easy to forget that Dermot cut his teeth and still works as a radio D.J, and it is in this arena in which Dermot committed his most heinous crime.

In June 2005, a little known two piece band from the rock and roll hotbed of Leamington Spa called Nizlopi released a single about a JCB. The single was, upon its initial release moderately successful; but did not trouble the upper echelons of the hit parade. Of course, this is in itself was no great surprise to anyone. You may call me cynical, but I don’t ever recall hearing of any hit-making mogul ever detailing his/her charges to “write one about construction vehicles, there’s a sure fire hit in the making”. With the notable exception of the Worzels and their tribute to the magical powers of a combined harvester, songs about such vehicles are thankfully relatively thin on the ground. The fact that Nizlopi were using JCB’s as inspiration should have been reason enough for the band to never gain fervour and the fruits of chart success; but when this was coupled with the fact that the band were essentially a mongrel coupling of genres which should never be friends in the first place (Acoustic folk and hip-hop), it seemed as certain as night following day that this was a band that would never have any hint of mainstream success.

Then in the words of the Rt. Hon Jarvis Cocker ‘Something Changed’ and it certainly wasn’t a change for the better! In the months following its initial release ‘JCB’ gained a ‘cult’ following on the internet (in other words • a load of nerds were attracted by its kooky animated video and its ‘kerazy’ name-checking of Bruce Lee and B.A Baracus et al rather than the merits of the track itself) and suddenly the profile of both band and song increased almost overnight at a rapid and unexpected pace. Re-enter Dermot ‘dastardly’ and a number of other high profile cronies who began playing the song on a nauseatingly regular basis, to the point that upon its re-release it went to number one. It even became a genuine contender for the Xmas top spot! The world really had gone mad! This unheralded success allowed the self-proclaimed “People’s Republic of Nizlopi” to expand beyond all recognition and brought the bands music (the sort you imagine a group of morally righteous, Guardian reading humanities teachers to make in their spare time) to a wider audience than anyone had ever envisaged.

Admittedly, replicating the chart success of this ‘novelty’ single has proved beyond the dynamic duo. However, it has bought them a great deal more attention and success than they deserve. Although there considerable standing as a live act of some repute has undoubtedly helped them sustain a career post ‘JCB’. However, it is essentially because of its success that this second record has seen the light of day; although it is released on their own label, it is questionable that there would have been any clamouring for more from Nizlopi without the increase in profile the band have experienced in the wake of ‘JCB’ syndrome.

‘Make it Happen’ is a thoroughly abhorrent record. One which made me feel angry and in pain, but not in a good way. It is exactly what I would have expected before listening to the record. A terrible, self-righteous, happy-clappy pile of cack which I am sure will find fervour with existing fans of the group (if they don’t find it morally dubious to actually purchase the record). I found the whole experience teeth grindingly gross, apart from an interesting prelude of a few seconds of messing about with tapes; the fact that this was unquestionably the high point of the album is symptomatic of the deluge of dross which follows. One best avoided by all those who are not existing members of the “People’s Republic” methinks.