Single Review
According to the record label blurb, 'This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us' has been performed, recorded and produced entirely by Justin Hawkins, presumably on a sabbatical from The Darkness. Now, if the above has filled you with same palpable fear and dread that (I imagine) would be felt if a burly zookeeper threatened to feed you to a gaggle of inebriated penguins, you're in good company.
Never being the greatest fan of The Darkness, I was torn between sliding the disc into my CD player and pressing PLAY or sliding it into my toaster and pressing BURN. But, in the interests of professionalism and the fact that I was looking forward to a beans on toast supper later in the day, I opted for the former.
And it's exactly what you'd expect. From the opening jangling harpsichord melody, this reworking sticks pretty well to the original Sparks behemoth with heavy metal riffage the only significant addition. But Hawkins' pipes still grate on the ear - his shrill, piccolo warbling has no depth. While falsetto vocals work fine for artists like Prince and The Bee Gees and indeed most funky disco and R&B, rock music (yep I know the original is a pop song but this IS supposed to be a rock cover) demands an apocalyptic roar. Even Freddie Mercury's vocals still retained an element of coarseness that gave even the most ridiculous Queen songs some muscle. There's none of that on this. And talking of the camp pop/rock gods, there's also a mid-section Brian May - inspired guitar solo - is Justin Hawkins really trying to transmogrify himself into all four members of Queen, I wonder? But the solo is mercifully short and you're soon back into the meat of the badly cooked pie. Which isn't really saying much.
The one saving grace is the fact that the original is so damn good. You're constantly reminded of it and even though this cover is only 180 seconds long, you long to switch them over half-way through.
An album is on the way and based on this evidence, if Hawkins ever decides to walk out on The Darkness, it's assured that he can still forge a career by churning out whimsical covers of pop classics. 'This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us' does exactly what it says on the tin – it's a silly but in truth respectful cover of a great pop song. It just ain't a patch on the original and you have to ask what the point of covering it in the first place was. The only thing to look forward to is seeing what darts legend Phil Taylor gets up to in the video...and of course, a beans on toast supper.